What's Inside the Doll?
by Midnight1234
Summary: All this is is just an act. Everything he does. He built up this fake character of his before Igneel even came around and he doesn't know what he'll do without it. Then a spell ruins it. His act comes tumbling down and suddenly everyone is faced to face with the real Natsu and everything that dealt with his past that led him to lie about everything he is.
1. Words Bring Us Out

**Hiya! Yeah, I know, another story to add on to my plate, but I just couldn't shake the idea! I really liked the idea and I wanted to give it a go, plus I want to toy with the idea of Natsu just faking his personality and all that. His past will come in later on, but it's going to be a different one from the recent manga chapters, so there's hopefully not going to be any manga spoilers in here, but if there is, I'll try to put out a warning and all that. Anyway, please tell me what you guys think in the reviews, I'll love to hear your lovely thoughts! Please leave a review and favorite! Farewell and Enjoy!**

 **-Let there be midnight**

 **Fairy Tail is not owned by me or in my possession, Hiro Mashima has all rights**

* * *

 _ **What's Inside the Doll?**_

 _Words Bring Us Out_

He isn't oblivious, he's quite the opposite actually. He notices the little twitching of the fingers when someone is nervous, the averted eyes and hidden smiles or frowns or tears. He notices the drooping of shoulders, the tensing of muscles, and the curling of fingers. He even notices how people walk, how they talk, how they laugh and breath he notices everything even the slightest changes, but he doesn't let it be known that he does.

Everyone thinks he notices nothing, that he's oblivious, naïve, and just about everything in-between, but really he's just an actor. He's so good, no one knows who he truly is, they just see the character he has built up over the years. He's the best actor, better than the actors ever known because every mannerism he shows, is not of his own. He built them up carefully, he crafted them into perfection that even the best detective wouldn't be able to notice that it is all fake. He's like a doll maker that lives in his best creation. What people see, hear, and feel is all his doll while he's really the one on the inside making the magic work.

He even pretends to sleep. In all actuality, he sleeps maybe, at most, three to four hours on a good night. He's always been like that, never needing too much sleep. He's even so good at pretending he could pretend to fall asleep in front of people, snoring and all that when he's just listening in. Never know when you're missing out on stuff when you're sleeping, and he doesn't like not knowing.

The fights between him and Gray are even staged by him. He honestly could care less to fight him, but that was just a part of the fake Natsu's behavior. A well-crafted character needs their own quirks even though they may not suit the writer in his or her own right.

The only thing even being remotely close to the real him is the search for Igneel, but the light died in him years ago, the hope and want. It all dwindled out because he felt like there was nothing of him to love. The last Igneel has seen of him, he was different. He was half of the truth, but now he's all lies. His guild mates don't love him. Well, at least they don't love his true self. They've never seen it. They loved his lies. The lies he has been feeding them without their knowledge. He's been spoon feeding them ever since he came across Makarov Dreyer years ago. It's a curse to be such a good actor.

The reason why he lies and why he acts and why he's not truly _him_ is because he never liked people knowing who he was. He felt naked, felt like he was stripped of his skin and all his weaknesses was shown to the world before him.

In truth, the fake Natsu is more confident while the real Natsu likes to hide, even behind acts outside of the play.

It was always an act. His acts started to seem more normal to the point where he couldn't remember he was acting and he was just on auto pilot while his true self sat back and thought. He thought so much now-n-days, he could tell who was faking at any given moment and why they did certain things. He may not act like it, but he has managed to make himself wise, make himself see and not be blind. He has opened up his eyes, but the only thing that needs to be done is to show his true self.

But it's too late. It's too late to be who he actually is. The guild loves him to death, even other guilds love him and he's saved too many people with his false act that if he let it crumble even half way, people wouldn't like it and want his act back up. He wouldn't say anything, just do what they want and act like it was all just a joke, because maybe his life _is_ just a joke.

A joke joke joke. He tells people that he doesn't remember about his past before Igneel, but he does. He painfully remembers. He remembers the fear, the always frantic heartbeat and taste of blood in his mouth. He remembers how his stomach always growled and grumbled and roar even when he slept and he just couldn't find enough food to feed him in a day.

He remembers the cold, the heat, the wetness, and the dryness. He remembers it all, but he does try not to remember. In the end though, something always brings up those horrid memories.

He just acts it away, and when he remembers he acts even harder just to forget again.

He didn't ever think that he'll ever be able to show his true self, well that is until a small botched spell screwed up everything. Suddenly his walls and his false act came crumbling down and it was just like his skin was torn from his body and all his weaknesses was shown before everyone in fake Natsu's guild.

* * *

"Wait, so what is this spell supposed to do?" Lucy asked as she and Levy looked over a little old book Levy had found just earlier that morning.

"It's not a spell Lu-chan, or at least I don't think it is?" Levy screwed up her nose and shifted her reading glasses further up her nose as she leaned in towards the book to get a closer look. "Oh wait, no, you're right. It's a spell." Levy said with a nod.

"What does it do?" Lucy repeated, looking at her friend. Levy pursed her lips just slightly as she tapped her foot gently against the ground in thought, rereading the words over and over in her head just so she knew she got them right and she understood them hopefully perfectly.

"It's supposed to unleash hidden mannerisms, I believe." Levy said, Lucy leaning curiously.

"Hidden mannerisms…" Lucy muttered under her breath as they both leaned back and looked at each other, blinking before a mischievous smile spread over Lucy's lips. "Hey, we should try it on Natsu to see if he has some hidden characteristics! Maybe he actually can talk properly and remember stuff, but just says he forgets it just to get out of trouble!" Lucy said, getting more excited by the thought of it as she put a hand on her chin and nodded her head. Levy awkwardly laughed beside her, wondering what else was going through her blonde friend's mind.

"Um… I dunno Lu-chan…" Levy said, trailing off as Lucy looked towards her in an almost pleading way, bringing out her biggest puppy dog eyes that Levy knew she couldn't resist. She was a sucker for those things. "Fine! We'll do it! But you're the one who reads it!" Levy pouted, pushing the book in her direction and crossing her arms. Lucy beamed happily, taking the book and setting it out in front of her as she read the words of the spell in her head a few times.

"So do I just put Natsu's name at the end?" she asked, Levy nodding her head as they both glanced in the direction of the said pink haired teen who was currently in a fight with Gray, both of them tugging at the other's hair with one hand and throwing punches with the other.

"Yup." Levy said, both looking back down to the page.

"Alright, here goes nothing!" Lucy said in excitement. "Adis opiml crotum rishmil lifor waqima del oia erdmbe: Natsu Dragneel." They both glanced up in time to see Natsu engulfed in a bright light for a second before it disappeared. Everyone's eyes in the guild transferred to Natsu, wondering what the light was about just to see Natsu's hand drop from Gray's hair and take a step back, blinking up at the slightly taller mage with a different type of look in his eyes. He looked around suddenly, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion, the corner of his mouth being chewed on by his sharp canines. This drew everyone's curiosity in even more since they never saw such an expression on his face before, or him to even stop fighting with Gray.

"Hey, Natsu!" Lucy yelled, wanting to know if this was just Natsu in a total state of confusion or if it was something more. Natsu looked over at her and tilted his head just slightly, but otherwise stayed where he was.

"Why did you stop fighting Gray?" she asked innocently. Natsu glanced towards the raven haired teen for a second, then back to Lucy.

"Because I don't like fighting him." he said in a softer tone of voice, quieter and just _different_ from his usual one. Without answering anymore questions, Natsu started to walk towards the door with a fast pace, not looking at anyone as he walked.

Lucy didn't think she was seeing right, but even the way Natsu was walking wasn't how he walked. He walked with a straight back and his arms barely swung at his side and how he glided across the floor with ease wasn't something she normally saw from him. Everything was suddenly strange and she didn't know for sure that if that spell was a good or bad thing.

Looking over at Levy, the blue haired girl seemed to mirror her thoughts.


	2. Hiding Behind a Tale of Lies

**Hiya! You guys are so wonderful, like you don't even know it. Thank you all for reviewing just on the first chapter somewhat of a month into the story, you don't know how much that made me happy so I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I decided to post this earlier than I usually would because you guys are so wonderful and deserve it, so please enjoy. Thanks for those who reviewed, favorited, and followed! You all deserve a cookie! ^^ Please leave a review and favorite! Farewell and Enjoy!**

 **-Let there be midnight**

 **Fairy Tail is not owned by me or in my possession, Hiro Mashima has all rights**

* * *

 _ **What's Inside the Doll?**_

 _Hiding Behind a Tale of Lies_

He's freaking out. He knew something was wrong when he couldn't pull up the fake Natsu and he answered truthfully. He knew something was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. So wrong it made him sick to his stomach. He wasn't supposed to answer truthfully. He wasn't supposed to let his act drop. Nothing was supposed to happen like that.

This was the first time he had ever had problems with his act. He was always precise and knew how to act, but this time it was as if something pulled fake Natsu away and put a truth serum in him. And no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't pull back fake Natsu. It's as if he never existed in the first place and that _terrifies_ him.

He did the only thing he knew how to do when he couldn't act. He ran. Well, he didn't run because he refuses to let people see the inner works of his mind, but he walked out as calmly as he could, feeling the stares boring into his back and making his hair stand on end.

Run run run. His mind kept echoing, but he couldn't run, he had to act calmly for his last line of defense was down.

 _Be like you used to before fake Natsu showed up. Be like you used to before you hid yourself._ He kept thinking over and over again.

He squeezed his eyes shut once he was away from civilization, his nose and eyebrows squeezing together as his mouth purses in a thin line.

 _What happened back there?_ The thought echoes itself in his mind. Memories of moments earlier rush to his mind so fast that his knees felt like Jell-O and he had to prop himself up against a tree with an arm so he didn't fall into that thorn bush in front of him. The rush of recent memories pushed up old ones he had long ago tried to forget.

" _Natty, why are you still acting?"_

" _Hmm, what do you mean?"_

" _You only reserve your act for_ special _occasions."_

" _I'm not acting."_

" _Natty, I've known you for a long time. I know when you act and when you don't."_

Just as the memory came, Natsu forcefully pushed it back and away from his subconscious, something he had managed to train himself to do over the years.

"Natsu!" His head jerked roughly to look over his shoulder so fast that for a moment he thought he was going to suffer from whiplash.

"Where did you go, flame brain?" He stood up in time for the rest of his team to come in sight and stop their yelling when their eyes laid upon him. He took a step back but otherwise cooled his expression into a nonchalant one, trying to pull fake Natsu's expression up again, only to fail.

"There you are," Erza said, worry lines creasing her forehead and the skin around her lips. "What's wrong?" Natsu looked briefly down to his feet before he caught himself and looked up.

"I can't act anymore." he found himself saying before he could catch himself. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before they went back to normal.

"Act?" Lucy asked with tense shoulders, eyes narrowing just slightly. Natsu looked over his shoulder in an absent minded way before turning to look over at his friends while he took slow steps backwards. His eyes flickered over to Gray's twitching fingers as they had the urge to curl into a fist, then they flickered over to Erza's hands as they twitched as if she was trying to grip a sword's hilt that wasn't there in comfort.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Natsu muttered distractedly when he saw Happy's tail swishing to and fro in impatience and worry. "I-I just," The way Lucy picked at her peeling pink nail polish on her thumb was distracting to him and how Gray would wet his lips every five seconds while Erza's limbs twitched as if they were wanting to will her armor on. Happy was the most distracting with how he would attract and detract his nails and twitch his ears.

"Just… what?" Gray asked, taking a step forward while Natsu took one back.

He gave them a shaky smile that looked nothing like the smiles he given before but instead looked pretty weird and awkward on his lips.  
"Something came up," he mumbled, not meeting their eyes as he took another step backwards and found his back brushing against the rough bark of a tree. He figured since he couldn't lie, he could somewhat tell the truth and make himself believe in what he was saying to be true.

 _One defense down, another to create and build and mold into the outer shell of who I am and to hide the truth. Time to create and hide and be the perfect doll maker I can be._

"And…" he trailed off as he moved his hands to lightly trail against the bark as if he was trying to claw his way out of the situation.

A snap of a twig jerked his attention up to Erza who looked to be getting irritated the longer he stalled.

"Stop playing games," she ordered. "And tell us what is wrong, because clearly you're not acting right Natsu and not telling us anything isn't going to help you any time soon." There was a glint in her eyes that Natsu understood clearly as the glint of I-will-hurt-you-if-you-don't-tell-me.

"I'm not playing games," he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't feel good, alright and plus, like I've said, something came up." They started to inch towards him making him feel like a cornered animal and started to make his heartbeat increase slowly. His palms started to get sweaty, but Natsu refused to wipe them off on his pants while they were there. He didn't want to give them anymore signs that he was stressed and nervous as it was.

"Natsu," Lucy started, drawing his eyes to her big brown ones. "Me and Levy were messing around with a spell that makes hidden mannerisms pop up and we decided to do it on your for fun—" he cut her off before she could finish.

"Not asking for my permission to do something like that isn't very polite, Lucy—Luce." he caught himself just in time to make the conversation more casual like his fake would do, but it didn't seem to do anything like he'd had hoped.

"We didn't think you'd start acting like this!" she defended. "We thought it would be something more subtle like—"

"Like what?" He winced internally at his anger. "Like I would suddenly start singing or some shit?" his voice started to get louder the more he felt cornered and there was no escape. "Even then did you even think to ask?" Lucy faltered in her own slight anger, biting her lip and narrowing her eyes at him.

"No—"

"Then what, Lucy? Tell me. I would love to hear." He growled, forcing his shoulders to drop and lose their tension as Gray took a step forward and put his arm in front of Lucy as if he was protecting her from Natsu's own anger.

"Chill, it's not a big deal—"

" _Not a big deal?!_ " Natsu wanted to laugh bitterly at what Gray said, because it was, in fact, a huge deal. Letting the fake Natsu crumble and disappear was the worst case scenario to ever happen to Natsu and no one could ever understand. Even though fake Natsu was just a lie, he was a protection. He was Natsu's strongest line of defense against the world because letting people know who you truly were was a weakness he hated. "This is a huge deal." He forced his voice to calm as he took little breaths, closing his eyes as every muscle in him was forced to relax. "You just don't understand." Natsu whispered, barely low enough for them to hear. Natsu started to shrink in on himself like a child being scolded for eating too much for dinner, the shadows from the trees and his hair falling over his face enough to make it where his eyes were hard to see. "It's nothing new, so there's no need to worry." Natsu said softly, instantly changing the direction of the conversation. His eyes flickered to the slight movement of Gray's foot, then to the movement of him sucking on his bottom lip to restrain himself from yelling.

"Why were you lying to us?" Lucy breathed, silencing everyone around them. Natsu didn't change the angle of his face, to keep the shadows in his favor. His defenses were down, he can't let them see past the wall he's so desperately and failing to build. He won't let them, he won't even if it cost him his life. His newest on the spot wall was even failing him.

 _He's the worst doll maker in all of history, even his creations fail him when he needs them the most._

" _There's no reason to hide,"_ A voice from his past spoke up. _"Nor is there any reason to lie."_ His hands coiled into fists just slightly enough that he knew the others couldn't see or detect.

" _There's all the reason in the world to. No one can take me down from the inside that way, there's no way since the inside is the liar and the outside is the actor."_ He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to forget the long ago conversation. Not now. Not ever. Forget forget forget. Do what you're best at. Lie lie lie. But what is there to lie about when all the walls are down? When the defenses have crumbled and can't be built? There's simply no time. Stall. If lying is not at the ready, stalling will have to be second best until there's a perfect time to slip away and rebuild what is left. Try to fix the damage that has been caused. Fix what has been broken. Mend the pieces left behind. But leave the truth and never look back. The truth is the enemy and the lies are the allies.

"I'm not," _I am._

Ignore the second voice and believe you're not lying.

"There's no use in hiding, aren't we friends?"

"Yes." _I don't know._

What really _are_ friends?

"Then tell us the truth."

"I am." _I can't._

What truth? What is there to tell? You won't like what you see.

"Natsu,"

"I have to go." _Anymore of what you see will further damage the unfixable._


End file.
